BOOKREVIEW

Yesterdays post was about my Guilty pleasures, and it's fair to say I've gotten some response to that one. Especially the part where I wrote "And they made me laugh out loud because they are just SO REDICULOUS but I read all the books in the Fifty Shades trilogy". I do not feel the need to explain why I've read all these books (and that may be for the simple fact that I don't know the answer to that question), but what I will do, is tell you why these books made me LOL and why I think they're ridiculous.

I disliked 50 shades for more than its horrible writing alone. For one, there's the characters. Ana is just a giant mess. She's insecure to the point of it being laughable and she's a 21 year old virgin who's never taken any sexual interest in anyone before. Right.... Let that sink in for a second. Correct me if I'm wrong but I'm pretty sure there hasn't been a woman this naive since the eighteenhundreds. But here's E.L. James' other attempt to add some personality to Ana: She wears sneakers and jeans, drives a very old car and likes classic British literature. Yawn..... Besides that, it's Ana's lack of anything in her vocabulary to describe excitement/being surprised besides "Oh my" that annoyed me. I lost count of how many times Ana said "Oh my" in this book. "He pulled me back against his chest...oh my." "He began kissing a trail down my belly, oh my." "HE'S AN INCREDIBLE ASSHOLE, OH MY!" Speaking of her vocabulary, there is one word in it that I CAN'T STAND! WTF is an "inner goddes", every time I read this word (which, by the way, is A LOT in this book) my brain has some kind of Short circuit. I just do not know how to respond: Do I laugh? do I feel vicarious shame for Ana constantly using that word? Do I get upset because I don't know where my inner goddess is? IS THERE SOMETHING WRONG WITH ME!?

And then there's the sex-scenes that are very unrealistic. For example, Ana's first time giving Christian a blowjob, during which she makes herself look as some kind of Deepthroat Queen. And don't get me started on the tampon part, because that was just disgusting! Also, Ana can't stop talking about how amazing Christian is in bed, but of course he is! She has absolutely zero experience, it could be as big as a baby carrot and she'd still be like "How is it ever going to fit!?" and of course "OH MY!"

Christian stalks Ana and whispers things to her "threateningly". She's constantly afraid he's going to beat her, with good reason as he, on more than one occasion, tells her he's going to or wants to. Also, Christian constantly needs to be in control of literally everything. how charming.
This just gives me the need to say that, just because a man is rich and handsome, that doesn't make him a good person! Alright ladies, let's all think about Christian. Not about his money, or his looks. Let's think about his PERSONALITY and the things he does. And now picture he looks like THIS:



Not so turned on anymore now, are you?